Well, what can I say? I was attracted to this joint by its seen-better-days decor and Italian-accented staff. I laughably thought that this was a good indicator that it may offer up an authentic yet no-frills experience.Upon our arrival, said staff were running around the place like headless polli, due to the fact that they had, ooh, about 20 customers in.

We were promptly seated slap-bang in the middle of what appeared to be the restaurant's (and Bournemouth’s, for that matter) busiest thoroughfare, where we attempted to get to grips with the menu amidst constant jostling from our fellow dinners and the wild gesticulating of the staff.For starters, we ordered garlic bread with mozzarella, and a bowl of marinated olives.

What was served up, mind you, was a very greasy portion of cheese on toast that would make a Welshman cringe, and olives that had been less marinated than fallen out of a can of brine.For our main courses we ordered an extravaganza of spaghetti bolognaise (now who can mess that up?) and the house pizza, "Valentino," which consisted of mozza, bacon and artichokes.

All I can say about the bolognaise sauce is it alerted me to the fact that Tesco has clearly launched a tinned variety under their “economy” banner, because this was it!
Albeit after having been stuck in a blender to make it more runny.

And as for the pizza; I’m afraid I haven’t the space to bang on about it here, but I can say it was one of those experiences where you feel your arteries hardening with every munch.You may have noticed I have given the place one star, but this accolade is largely down to the way in which the waiting staff would apologise profusely and repeatedly every time they messed up part of our order, which was sweet ;-) However, as you have probably guessed, I will be steering well clear of this sorry, clapped out old place in future.